How to masturbate properly is something almost no man consciously learns: it’s discovered instinctively during adolescence and then repeated on autopilot for decades. And that’s the problem. Most guys have been doing the same thing for twenty years—the same way and at the same pace—without realizing there’s so much more to explore. That’s exactly what this guide is about: breaking the routine, understanding what’s really going on in your body, and getting so much more out of it.
Why It Matters How You Masturbate
This is no small matter. The way you masturbate directly affects your sex life with other people, and this is something almost no one tells you.
The “death grip” and why it’s hurting you
It’s the most common mistake, and it even has its own name: the “death grip.” It involves always masturbating with very strong pressure and at a fast pace, usually without lubrication and in a hurry. The body gets used to that intense level of stimulation, and when it comes to actual sex (which is much gentler and more varied), the sensation falls short, making it difficult to reach orgasm or maintain an erection.
If you’ve ever found that you function perfectly fine on your own but have trouble with another person, this is usually the reason. The good news: it can be fixed. By easing up on the pressure, using lubricant, and slowing down the pace, sensitivity returns within a few weeks.
Masturbating in a Hurry: A Habit We’ve Carried With Us
Almost all of us learned to masturbate quickly and in secret, afraid of getting caught. That sense of urgency sticks with you. The result is a three-minute masturbation session—mechanical and devoid of real pleasure—that also trains your body to finish as quickly as possible. That’s exactly the opposite of what you want in bed.
Techniques for a Better Handjob
Let’s get down to business. These are the variables you can adjust, and most men have never adjusted any of them.
Change the pressure
Try doing it with a grip that’s noticeably looser than the one you usually use. At first, it will seem inadequate—even frustrating. Hang in there: within a few minutes, you’ll start to notice nuances that the tight grip was completely masking. It’s the simplest technique, and the one that makes the biggest difference in your experience.
Change the speed
Vary your pace: slow, fast, stop, start again. Don’t rush straight to the end. Not only is this more enjoyable, but it’s also direct training to last longer during sex, because you learn to recognize and control the point of no return.
Use your other hand
It sounds silly, but it’s incredibly effective. When you use your non-dominant hand, you lose coordination and control, and that forces your brain to really pay attention instead of just going on autopilot. The sensations feel completely new.
Don’t forget the rest of your body
Your penis isn’t your only erogenous zone, even if you treat it as if it were. The testicles, the perineum (the area between the testicles and the anus), the inner thighs, and the nipples are much more responsive than you think. Using your other hand on these areas multiplies the intensity.
The perineum: the area that almost no one touches
This deserves its own section. Gently pressing on the perineum—especially in the moments leading up to orgasm—greatly intensifies the sensation, because the base of the prostate runs through that area. It’s one of the most noticeable improvements and one of the easiest to try.
The “start-and-stop” (edging) technique
It involves getting almost to the point of orgasm, stopping, letting the arousal subside, and repeating this several times before finishing. The final orgasm is considerably more intense. And as an added benefit: it’s the best training there is for lasting longer in bed, because you learn to identify exactly where your limit is.
Lubricant: The Biggest Change with the Least Effort
If you’re only going to take one thing away from this entire article, let it be this: Most men masturbate without lubrication out of sheer habit, and that’s the biggest difference you’ll notice.
Why You Should Always Use It
Without lubricant, friction is high and rough, and to compensate, you tend to grip harder (back to the “death grip”). With lubricant, the glide is smooth, and your nerve endings pick up on nuances that are lost when dry. Plus, you prevent skin irritation and micro-injuries.
Which one to choose
- Water-based: the most versatile. Easy to clean, works with everything. The downside is that it dries faster and needs to be reapplied.
- Silicone-based lube: It lasts much longer and feels very slippery. Don’t use it with silicone toys, because it breaks them down.
- Hybrid: a mix of both. Good balance.
Here’s a tip: warm it up in your hands before applying it. The difference between cold and warm lubricant is greater than it seems.
Myths About Masturbation You Can Forget
There’s a lot of misinformation out there. Let’s clear it up:
- It doesn’t lower testosterone or “use up” anything. Your body constantly produces sperm.
- It does not cause impotence. What can cause problems, however, is the “death grip” (see above), which is not the same thing: it’s a matter of technique, not frequency.
- There is no “correct” frequency. Everyone’s body is different. It’s only a problem if it interferes with your daily life, your work, or your relationships.
- It does have real benefits: it relieves stress, helps you sleep, and there is evidence that regular ejaculation is associated with better prostate health.
From Fantasy to Reality: When the Hand Is No Longer Enough
Here’s the uncomfortable truth that almost no article tells you: no matter how good your technique is, masturbation has its limits. It’s self-discovery, it’s release, it’s healthy. But it’s not skin-to-skin contact, it’s not a glance, it’s not the warmth of another body, and it’s not a mouth you can’t control.
There comes a time when you get tired of fantasizing and want that fantasy to have a face, a body, and a voice.
When Porn Stops Working
If you find that you need increasingly extreme content to get aroused, or that the screen no longer has the same effect on you, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you—it’s just that repeated visual stimulation leads to desensitization. And what breaks through that desensitization isn’t more screen time; it’s real contact.
The Real Experience in Madrid
At Chalet Madrid, we’ve been helping men take exactly that step for years: moving from a solo fantasy to a real-life experience. Our escorts in Madrid aren’t just a photo on a screen—they’re real, approachable, and professional women who know exactly how to make that transition comfortable, natural, and memorable, even if it’s your first time.
Everything you’ve read about pressure, rhythm, or erogenous zones takes on a whole new dimension when it’s not your hands doing the work.
No shame, no judgment
A common fear is embarrassment: “What if I don’t measure up?” “What if she judges me?” It won’t happen. Our girls are professionals who take the initiative, break the ice, and help you relax from the very first minute. No one is going to judge you for anything. Their job is exactly the opposite: to make you feel good.
Frequently Asked Questions
How many times a day is it normal to masturbate?
There’s no “right” number. It can range from several times a day to once a week, depending on the person. It’s only a cause for concern if it interferes with your responsibilities, your rest, or your social life.
Can masturbating a lot cause impotence?
It’s not the frequency itself. What can cause sensitivity and erection problems is always doing it with excessive pressure and at high speed (the so-called “death grip“). It’s a technique issue, and it can be corrected.
Is it wrong to masturbate if I have a partner?
No. They’re complementary, not mutually exclusive. In fact, knowing your body well improves sex with a partner.
What’s the best technique for lasting longer in bed?
” Edging,” or the “stop-and-start” technique: get close to orgasm, stop, and repeat. It builds control and is the most effective technique you can practice on your own.
Is masturbation better than real sex?
They serve different purposes. Masturbation is about self-discovery and release; real sex provides physical contact, connection, and unpredictability—which is exactly what your hand can’t give you.
Stop Imagining It: Live It
Knowing your body is good. Mastering the technique is even better. But there comes a point when your hand just isn’t enough, and what you really want is a real experience.
If you’re in Madrid and want to take that step, at Chalet Madrid you’ll find the best escorts in Madrid: stunning, discreet, and professional women who are available to make what was once just a fantasy a reality.
Contact us and take a break from your screens.